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TEACH EVIL

by Amelia Stier | filed Brand Lab Berlin, Outside

Sat 06|19

Halensee

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I had a really grand plan yesterday to get some nature time. Book time, nap time, lay around in the park time. I heard there was a lake with a park two stops past Charlottenburg on the S-Bahn (the above ground train system), and I was all over it. “Turn left at the restaurant and you’ll find it,” I was told.

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But what I found after the restaurant was a whole lot of this. Quiet, residential Germany. No lakes to be seen. My other advice had been to follow the crowd, but since Germany was playing in the World Cup again, there was not a soul stirring in Grunwald.

I’m a notoriously bad navigator, and you would think I would compensate by bringing a map beyond just the abstracted subway version. Alas, I did not, and I missed the memo about this lake being 2km from the S-Bahn station. I wandered around thinking I was lost until I had major blisters on my sad feet (not having heeded advice to take my bike either), but eventually I was rewarded for my efforts:

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The park adjacent to the lake was peaceful and perfect for some reading. It was also full of old, heavily tanned, naked people. At first I didn’t notice, and the thought process went something like this: Hey, that guy is really tan. Hey, he doesn’t seem to have any tan lines. Wait a minute, is he completely naked?? is EVERYONE at this park completely naked? and the answer, for the most part, was yes.

Despite my surprise at seeing the darkest and nakedest Germans I have encountered thus far, it was a wunderbar trip to the lake. But next time I think I’ll bring my bike. And better shoes (it’s no fun being the crazy person walking the 2km back to the train station barefoot). Any maybe, just maybe, a map.

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